Romans will probably be my last letter. I hope to get to Rome, but I probably will not. I feel my age. My body has been through so much, as you know, beatings, stoning, fights, and imprisonment. This is not to mention that I have pushed myself to excess at times. well, I had no choice. I was the least among the apostles and wanted to prove myself worthy of him. My body aches sometimes, perhaps even groans. Creation groans you know, not through tiredness, but our fall became its fall. This does mean it is not beautiful. During my times of incarceration, my old ears listen to the bird song, and my eyes watch different forms of wildlife which bring beauty to even the darkest places. Yet it could be much more.

It longs for the children of God to be seen, as do I. We, Jews, have always known and felt the interconnectivity of the whole universe. Humans are not the centre of everything. Creation groans I have tried to say almost like labour pains. What do I mean? Well, I cannot really say as I cannot imagine the pain. Yet, I want to say the groans of creation are purposeful. There is hope they will end, and at the end there will be something wonderful, a beautiful gift. Even though our suffering seems overwhelming, it is nothing compared what God has promised. We are part of that promise, even I am, the one who is the worst of sinners.

Romans 8:18-25