One of the things I have learnt this week is this: I am not essential. It is true for everyone at some point.

My diary which was full is now rapidly emptying. I am needing to rediscover who I am and what it means to be a vicar, the Godbotherer, the God-person. Sometimes we clergy can look important by being at lots of meetings. The meetings have by and large been cancelled. The ones that are left in are there because I have not cancelled them yet.

This enemy (see my blog on 18 March 2020) is redefining lots of things. It will redefine how we live and be. From my point of view, on Sunday morning, I will not be grabbing some coffee before going out to church after that is walking my beloved hounds. Public worship is suspended. There will be no running, driving, from one church to the other, nor for me the wondering as I preside at the eucharist for a fourth time whether I have prayed these words in this service before. I will endeavour to deliver some thoughts about Mothering Sunday on Facebook Live. I have never done that before. 10am on Sunday if you want to watch and laugh as this bookish cleric tries to negotiate a different world. I will light a candle of Sunday evening at 7pm with people of faith as an act of defiance against this invisible enemy.

As I rediscover afresh who I am and what I am meant to do, I will be praying, listening and watching. These were things that the things I thought were important squeezed out.

and after all this madness is over… I will probably still be non-essential…. and while this is a voyage of discovery, it hurts just a little.