For seven long days, he had sat alone even when there had been others around him. For hour after long hour, he could not meet their gaze, he was a stranger in the group. They had so many memories to share; they had partied, laughed, worked, questioned, and followed together. Their journey had come to an end together as the clouds had turned black on that Friday afternoon. He was sliding slowly out of the group. They had hoped he would be the Christ. They had all given up everything to follow him.

Thomas could hardly believe what they had told him. Alive. How was that possible. It had started with Mary, and mother, Mary, and some of the other women. Then Simon and John had said the tomb was empty. Simon had been explaining to everyone that he too had seen him, when Clopas had come crashing through the door from Emmaus saying Jesus had been with them as they had journeyed, and how he had broken bread with them. Story after story had been told, Jesus who had been executed by Roman Empire was now alive. Or so, they said. Their mourning and grief had turned to dancing.

Thomas gazed at his hands. He had not been there with the others. He had needed to get out. Grief and despair had invaded the room. The room in which they are shared the Passover, and where the master had looked into his eyes, as he had washed his feet. Thomas had been gone for just a half an hour, and when he came back; they had started to tell him their rumours of joy. He had seen nothing. Thomas wanted to share their hopes and dreams, impractical though they may be. Simply he could not. Then he had said it, ‘unless I see for myself, I will not believe’.

Those words lingered in the air still seven days later. They had stopped looking at him too. He was no longer a follower of their way. In the morning, he had decided to leave and make him way to wherever his home might be.

‘Shalom’, he said. Thomas had not quite heard the voice, as the others fell silent. ‘Peace’, the voice said, jarring Thomas out of his thoughts. Their eyes met. He was alive, as so was Thomas. ‘Thomas’ said the voice inviting him to stop doubting and believe. No condemnation, just understanding.

Thomas fell to his knees and grasped Jesus’ feet. ‘Lord and God’. Thomas was kneeling, and so were the others. Jesus looked at him and smiled; and then was gone again. Thomas unpacked his bag, and began another journey with his friends.